GOOD CONFLICT

PASTOR RYAN LADEN – DEVOTIONALS

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Today we are going to begin a journey through the teaching that the Lord Jesus Christ gave to his disciples on the topic of how to handle points of conflict and personal sin within the community of believers. 

Proactive

As we will see in this teaching, Jesus makes it clear that there are times when we must be proactive in our calling to show love to those around us, especially when they are engaged in dangerous and sinful behaviors. 

The follower of Christ cannot be afraid to step into the lives of those we love, even if what we have to share with them seems like a possible source of conflict. If we love them with the love of Christ, we must take the risk of causing offense if that means we can help them avoid the deathly effects of ongoing sin. 

Let us listen to this message from the Lord:

15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

(Matthew 18:15-17 NIV11)

First

Today we are going to focus on the first step in this teaching from Jesus. 

The first and probably most important part of this calling to hold one another accountable can be heard in the first few words of verse 15, “If your brother or sister sins”.

Before we worry about how to address the problem, we must determine if it is an actual problem.

The Lord makes the assumption that we know when we or someone close to us has crossed the line into habitual and ongoing sin. It is important that we be 100% certain that the behavior or attitude that we are seeking to address in the other is in fact something that the Lord has made clear to us in his Word as being something that dishonors the Lord or violates the command of Christ. 

We should never seek to confront someone of a sinful habit if we are unsure if the issue is actually an issue from God’s perspective. It could be that someone is doing something that makes us uncomfortable or that we assume is wrong because of our family of origin of because of societal norms. 

•   What is the violation of God’s character or the command of Christ in question?
•   How do you know that this person is continuing to act in a sinful way?
•   Was it a one time mistake or an ongoing area of weakness and failure?
•   Have you witnessed the issue or have you received this news second hand?

Go

The next section of this teaching is found in the word, “go”. The Lord calls us into action with this one word. If we are to show the love of Christ to the one in this place of struggle and sin, then we cannot sit back and wait it out. 

Love requires that we take action. If the Holy Spirit is convicting you that this sinful behavior that you are seeing in someone close to you is indeed a problem, then you need to listen to the Lord and seek an audience with that person. 

Two

The next part to focus on is summarized with the words, “just between the two of you.” Be smart here. If you should not meet with this person alone because they are a threat to you or to themselves, then get help right away. Do not over-generalize this teaching and put yourself at risk or face temptation as a result. 

If the person is known to you and you feel safe in having a prayerful conversation with the other brother or sister about what you see in their habitual sin, then follow the Lord’s calling and go have a face-to-face meeting with them. 

Fault

As we “point out their fault,” let us remember to honor the teaching of Jesus that calls us into a place of authenticity and honesty as we talk about sin with others. 

In Matthew 7:1-5 we hear: 

“1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Treat the other person as you would like to be treated. Do you want someone to shame you and judge you from a place of supposed superiority? No way. So, how should you approach this conversation? We should speak to them with love, prayer, support, and encouragement. 

Won them over

The last part of this teaching in verse 15 says, “If they listen to you, you have won them over.” The goal of this conversation is to connect with someone that you love and help them to turn away from an area of ongoing sin that is destructive for their own lives as well as for those around them. 

The goal is not to win an argument. That is pride and it makes us just as guilty of sin as the one we are looking to defeat. Instead, the goal should be to show love, support in prayer, and speak the truth in a way that helps the other person see their own need for the Lord. 

Prayer

Lord Jesus Christ, help me to take your calling on board and to think seriously about my own motives, attitudes, and desires when I seek to get involved in the ups and downs of those around me. Help me not be a busy-body but a brother or sister seeking to help someone I love. Thank you Lord for your love as shown to me over and over as I too wrestle with my own sins and areas of struggle. 

In Christ, 

Ryan Laden

PASTOR RYAN LADEN

Works at MTN. CHURCH

Former Senior pastor at Warnbro Community Church

Studies at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary

Studied at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary

Studied at Baylor University

Studied at Texas Tech University

Went to Castle Hills First Baptist

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