THE FOLLOWING ARE PHONE NUMBERS OF THE NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
- 1-800-799-7233
- 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
- En Español Llama AL NUMERO: 1.800.799.7233
- THE WEBSITE IS: https://espanol.thehotline.org/
Translate this site into your preferred language, look for our Google translator in our home page: diningwithjesus.net
Traduce este sitio en tu idioma preferido, busca nuestro traductor de Google en nuestra página de inicio ve a: diningwithjesus.net
Pastor Chris White says to all of you: HELLO MY FRIENDS. May the Lord bless you today.
HOLA MIS AMIGOS. Que el Señor los bendiga.
The
Bible is silent on the issue of spousal abuse as a reason for divorce, although
it is obvious what God expects a marriage to look like (Ephesians 5:22–33), and abuse is contrary to
everything godly. Physical violence against a spouse is immoral and should not
be tolerated by anyone. No one should remain in an unsafe environment, whether
it involves a family member, friend, employer, caregiver, or stranger. Physical
abuse is also against the law, and civil authorities should be the first ones
contacted if abuse occurs.
A spouse who is being abused should immediately seek a safe place. If there are
children involved, they should also be protected and removed from the
situation. There is nothing unbiblical about separating from an abuser; in
fact, it is morally right to protect oneself and one’s children.
The Bible never commands divorce, even in the case of abuse. The Bible
specifies two acceptable reasons for divorce: abandonment of a Christian by an
unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15) and
adultery (Matthew 5:32). Since the Bible does not list
abuse as an acceptable reason for divorce, we are careful to limit our advice
to separation.
God allows divorce in the event of abandonment and adultery, but even
those circumstances do not automatically trigger divorce proceedings; divorce
is still a last resort. In the case of infidelity, it is better for two
Christians to reconcile than divorce. It is better to extend the forgiveness
and love that God freely gives us (Colossians 3:13). Reconciliation with an
abuser, however, is far different. Reconciling with an abusive partner depends
completely on the abuser proving his or her reliability, which could take
years—if it happens at all. Separation from an abusive spouse is likely to be
long-term.
Once separation has been established, the abuser has the responsibility to seek
help. First and foremost, he should seek God. “For everyone who asks, receives.
Everyone who seeks, finds. And the door is opened to everyone who knocks” (Matthew 7:8). God has power to heal
individuals and relationships. He must be the Lord of our lives, the Master of
our assets, and the Head of our households. Psychological aid and legal limitations
(restraining orders) on an abuser are also appropriate, and such tools are
important to his or her process of change.
If the abuser demonstrates verifiable change, independently confirmed, the
relationship may be resumed with much caution. Both husband and wife must
commit themselves to God’s path and develop their relationship with God through
Christ. “Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me and teach me your law.
I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I have set my heart on your laws” (Psalm 119:29–30). This commitment to God
should be accompanied by intensive counseling from a trusted pastor or
believing licensed counselor. The counselling should be taken first
individually, then as a couple, and finally as an entire family, as all need
help healing. Change is possible for an abusive person who truly repents and
humbly surrenders to the Lord (2 Corinthians 3:18).
There are a number of “red flags” to look for before entering a permanent
relationship. Unfortunately, these indicators may not be visible until after
the wedding takes place, since many abusers are skilled at hiding their true
natures. However, a short list of things to look out for includes irrational
jealousy, the need to be in control, a quick temper, cruelty toward animals,
attempts to isolate the other person from his or her friends and family, drug
or alcohol abuse, and disrespect for boundaries, privacy, personal space, or
moral values. If you see any of these warning signs in a person you are
entering a relationship with, please seek advice from someone familiar with
abusive situations.
If you are in an abusive situation right now, whether the abuser is a spouse,
parent, child, caretaker, teacher, relative, or anyone else, please know that
God does not want you to remain in that situation. It is not
God’s will for you to accept physical, sexual, or psychological abuse. Leave
the situation, find someone to help you stay safe, and involve law enforcement
immediately. Through it all, pray for God’s guidance and protection.
Thank you to Got Questions Ministries
© Copyright 2002-2019 Got Questions Ministries. All rights reserved.
You must be logged in to post a comment.